Tuesday night (after WW) 6 slices of pizza (not all at once!)
Wednesday night: Davanni's ham hoagie, garlic cheese bread and a brownie
Thursday: Breakfast: McDonalds
Lunch: 17 pretzels and a bag of Reese's Pieces
Dinner: Haven't had it yet, but I guarantee it will be a brisk walk around the MOA!!

HELP! I seem to be falling off the wagon. By posting of this blog, I commit to get back on track RIGHT NOW....not after dinner, not after today, not tomorrow, but NOW. I just lost 3 pounds this week for pete's sake!

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?! It is SO not worth it. All the guilt, negative self-talk, etc. that comes with falling off the wagon does not feel good.

Learning to learn from my mistakes

I promised myself when I started this blog that I would have to be completely honest about this journey, ups and downs, successes and failures. Yesterday, I had a great success at the scale at my weight watchers meeting last night and lost 3 pounds! HOWEVER, I also had a failure last night. I came home from my meeting and ordered pizza. Ordering pizza in and of itself is not a failure, but eating 6 slices is! I had four with dinner (2 too many!) and ate two more cold slices before I went to bed. Why do I sabotage myself? This is where I need the most help....binge eating. I do really, really well, and then I just binge. I need to learn to make a conscious choice to only eat two slices, what is on my plate and when I am finished with those two slices, I am done eating. period. even if there is leftover pizza in the box. One way I can avoid this is by only ordering a medium pizza...that way everyone can only have two slices. period. My whole family would benefit from this portion control. My motto for 2009 has been "If you WANT something different, you have to DO something different." Last night I resorted to my old ways and those habits are the very reason I am severely overweight now. I need to DO something different. NOW, I cannot go back and change what happened last night, so I will LOOK AHEAD and do BETTER today.....and walk a whole lot more this week so the scale is nice to me next week at weigh-in!

PS: how pathetic is it that I only have 3 followers?! I know I have a few that read that are not official "followers".....I need ALL the support I can get!

Weight Watchers night.....3 pounds lost! The walking MUST be working.

Last night I took the kids to the MOA to go walking. I left my purse in the car and we walked! I finally got my new pedometer yesterday so I had to try it out. Yesterday, I walked 6880 steps. They say the recommended steps per day is 10,000.....seems almost impossible. I would have to walk the mall and then some to meet that goal every single day. We didn't walk the entire mall, but we did walk 1.5 floors, plus we walked all around the old camp snoopy too. It felt so good to get moving. Now, I hope to keep this routine up and keep my kids interested in going too. I have weight watchers tonight so we'll see if this hard work has paid off on the scale. Check back tomorrow for the results!

My new pedometer came today! Watch out world, I'm WALKING!

Weight Watcher Prayer

The Program is my Shepherd

I shall not want

It prevents me from lying down on the sofa

and leads me to a sweaty aerobics class.

It restores my favorite tight jeans.

It guides me down the path

of slimness for its namesake.

Even though I walk through the valley of red light food,

I will fear no restaurant.

For you are with me,your Leaders and your Staff,they will comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of balanced meals.

You anoint my bread with pure virgin olive oil

and my bladder runneth over with H20.

Surely goodness and confidence

will follow me all the days of my life.

And I will dwell in the meetings

once a week forever and ever.

(from Dottie's Weight Loss Zone)

Consider This

Consider this...when someone is addicted to something such as alcoholic, pornography, drugs, sex, etc.....it is recommended that they quit cold turkey, completely eliminate it from their life.

How does one, who seemingly has an addiction to food, quit cold turkey?

I used to tell Mark if I was an alcoholic, it would be simple, we would simply not keep any alcohol in the house, however, we need food to sustain us.....we need a healthy relationship with food.

That is what I am learning to do....food must no longer be my medication, it must no longer feed the void, hurt, pain, emptiness, inadequacy, etc. I must put GOD in that place instead.

extreme cravings for chocolate today.....ever since lunch and I can't seem to get rid of the craving......

Little Successes

Happy Friday!

Last night I walked, even when I did not feel like it, I walked.
I called my 4 year old son after work and asked him if he would go for a walk with Mommy. He, so preciously responded "YES! Mommy, I will walk with you, YOU BET!" What an awesome little cheerleader I have in him :) He truly inspired me to get off my lazy butt!

Fridays are always a challenge for me because there is something about Fridays that feels like a celebration is in order....not sure if it is because it is the end of the work week, the beginning of the weekend, or just another great reason to want to eat! Every Friday morning I used to swing through the drive-through window of the McDonald's that is so appropriately positioned one block from our house. After joining Weight Watchers (WW), I learned that my breakfast was 21 points! That is almost a full day of points. I am allowed 37 points per day (This is calculated based on age, weight, height, etc.) So, despite the fact that I am aware of how many points is in this McDonald's breakfast, for some reason, I am so tempted to indulge every Friday morning. This always seemed to get me off on the wrong foot for the rest of the weekend too. However, today I declared VICTORY and did not let that drive-through window tempt me....ok, well it DID tempt me, but I did not succomb to the temptation! YAY! This brings me to today's blog......I've noticed that when a person has such a big goal to accomplish - such as losing 145 pounds - it is easy to get overwhelmed with the big picture. I am learning to celebrate my "little" successes. Today I overcame the Friday temptation that I had made a habit out of for so many months....I must celebrate that success! (without food!)

Day 2

So.....last night I thought of a few more reasons why I should loose weight. Thus, making MORE than 100 reasons why it is beneficial for me to take off 145 pounds of blubber.....Ok, I hate that word, I vow not to use it again in my blogs. Fat.

101. To be able to comfortably transport large, redrope files around the office, without having pain, discomfort and without getting out of breath.
102. To be able to feel comfortable taking off my top layer (i.e. a sweater or cardigan) if I am hot at work.
103. To sit down at my desk chair and not have to adjust my shirt with every move I make.
104. To be able to walk down a hallway or store aisle and not have to look down at the carpet of embarassment, but to hold my head high in confidence.
105. To avoid gastric bypass surgery, which, in my opinion, is only a band-aid for a much bigger problem.

Can you tell I thought of all of the above reasons while I was at work, working this morning :) Now that I've determined my reasons for loosing weight, it's time to put a plan of action in place:

PLAN OF ACTION
1. Eat healthy:

• maintain a healthy eating pattern by being consistent with my weight watcher program points each day. I struggle at the end of the day with wanting to track my food and points for dinner and dessert, so it is important for me to follow-through with tracking my food for the entire day;
• portion control. Just because the girls at the office want to order pizza, does NOT mean I cannot have some, I just don't need too many. One or two will do and I WILL count the points for the pizza. When ordering from somewhere that has alternative choices, I will order a salad with grilled chicken (one of my faves!)
• Conscious Eating. I will purposefully eat what I have planned to eat and not indulge in a binge session. I am fully aware when I am binging and will have the self-control I need to stop.

2. Be More Active:

• Track Steps. I just purchased a pedometer and will strive to reach the recommended goal of 10,000 steps daily. From what I have heard, it is not an easy task, so I will do the best I can and if I don't make the 10,000 every day, I will strive to get more steps that day than I did the day before.
• Take walks with kids and husband more often, weather permitting.
• In Home Walking. Use my Leslie Sansone walking workouts at least 2 times per week.
• Weight Training. Do 30 mins of weight training 2 times per week to start.

3. Spiritual/Emotional:

• Remain completely devoted to God. Remember I am precious in his sight and he loves me unconditionally.
• Be a good steward over my body, my health, my spirit, and my mind.
• Never let the stress of life keep me from my spiritual life (i.e. walk with God and church)

ta-ta for now.....by the way, you have NO IDEA how much it means to me that I have your support, I really need a miracle right now!

100 REASONS TO LOSE WEIGHT

1. To be better in tune with the person God has intended me to be.
2. To be able to wear “normal” necklaces without having to use an extender.
3. To not feel like (or be) the largest person in a group of people.
4. To be able to sit up straight and cross my legs comfortably.
5. To walk into a “normal” clothing store and be able to shop there.
6. To have more energy in my day-to-day life
7. To be able to wear pants that rest comfortably on the hip – no more turtle neck pants!
8. To be able to bend over and touch my toes
9. To do physical activities with my family and not have to stop because of discomfort
10. To be able to comfortably pass by another person in stairwells/narrow pathways.
11. To wear clothes that are form fitting, flattering, tank tops, short sleeves.
12. To avoid health complications that come from being overweight (diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc.)
13. To go into public and not be paranoid that everyone is staring at me because I’m fat.
14. To not have to wear wide-width shoes anymore, to be able to wear high heel shoes, high heel boots, and knee high boots.
15. To have extra space in “normal” seats (buses, planes, movie theatres, etc.)
16. To be able to go straight through a turn style and not have to turn and shuffle through sideways.
17. To be happy with candid pictures of myself – not feel like a giant blob.
18. To feel comfortable being in pictures so that I can take pictures of myself with my kids and husband.
19. To be able to sit and not feel as if the waistband on my pants are digging into my fat.
20. To fit into booths in restaurants and actually have extra space
21. To be able to sit down and stand up gracefully
22. To not have to worry about weight limits
23. To be part of the most in “one size fits most”
24. To be comfortable in the summertime, and not feel the need to wear a sweatshirt and knit pants wherever I go.
25. Thighs that don’t rub one another
26. To be healthy enough to play with my future grandchildren.
27. To not feel personally attacked whenever someone makes a fat joke.
28. To no longer need the extra large blood pressure cuff at the doctor.
29. For the doctor/nurse to no longer be surprised that I do not have high blood pressure. They always assume that since I am fat, I must have high blood pressure too, I do not.
30. To eat in public without feeling embarrassed
31. To eat in front of Mark’s family and our friends without feeling embarrassed.
32. To not be ashamed of my reflection in mirrors/windows.
33. To worry about what I’m going to wear because I look good in clothes and have so many to choose from, not because I look horrible in everything.
34. To be able to be comfortable and relax in a bathtub.
35. To keep up with people who walk faster than me.
36. No more double chin
37. To wear shorts.
38. To no longer be considered “plus-sized” or “full-figured”
39. To feel generally stronger and more energized.
40. To climb stairs without running out of breath
41. To go out dancing and not feel self-conscious
42. To wash dishes without the front of my shirt getting wet because I have to press up against the edge of the sink.
43. To not need assistance getting up from sitting on the floor.
44. To not need two gowns at the doctors in order to be covered up.
45. So that I am not ashamed of what’s in my cart at the grocery store. Even when buying healthy foods, I feel as if everyone is scrutinizing me for what I am purchasing.
46. To not be embarrassed of the number on the scale at the doctor’s office.
47. To spend time in nature without my size impeding me
48. To be able to shave my legs easily
49. To wrap a regular towel around myself and have it cover me completely
50. To reduce the size of my chest.
51. To be able to have my husband pick me up and be able to sit on his lap without smooshing him.
52. To no longer be associated with the negative stigma that comes with being overweight – you know, obese people are always lazy, slobs, pigs, unsuccessful, unlovable, and generally second-class citizens (I don’t think this at all, but unfortunately much of society does).
53. To go to the gym and be seen as athletic, not as the fat girl trying to loose weight.
54. For all of those people who, through my life, have told me that it is inevitable that I am going to be fat for the rest of my life, because it’s in my “genes”
55. To be the best possible example for my children as to what it means to live a healthy life.
56. To be healthy enough to go indoor rock climbing
57. To be able to sit in the back seat of a vehicle with two other people without feeling like I am going to die. To be able to sit in the passenger seat of a car without feeling like I am blocking the driver’s view.
58. To actually have definable features (cheeks, chin, neck, waist, and not just feel like a blob
59. So that I don’t feel the need to hide behind people in group pictures
60. To feel beautiful while out with my drop-dead gorgeous friends!
61. To not feel the6 need to use the handicapped stall in public restrooms.
62. To one day be asked to be a bridesmaid, and look good in the dress.
63. So that I actually weigh less than my husband, the man in the relationship.
64. To no longer have difficulty putting on my socks or painting my toe nails.
65. To be able to ride a bike without being afraid I am going to pop the tires.
66. To be able to go boating and not feel like I will sink the boat
67. To buy underwear that doesn’t resemble something a grandmother would wear
68. To no longer have people joke about how it must be nice having extra insulation in cold weather.
69. To have a healthy relationship with food.
70. To not think about food/worry about food 24 hours a day
71. One pound of excess weight puts 4 extra pounds of pressure on your knees. I want to give my knees a break!
72. Thinner fingers, so my hands look feminine with my wedding ring on.
73. I want to climb Long’s Peak in Colorado
74. So that when people hug me, they can actually wrap their arms around me.
75. To be able to sit on the floor Indian style
76. To do yoga or Pilates
77. I want the way I look on the outside to mirror the joy of the Lord that I feel on the inside.
78. To sit in a lawn chair or wooden bench without being afraid of breaking it
79. To not have to constantly adjust my clothing because my body is fighting against it
80. To be able to shimmy past people in rows of seats (church, movies, sporting events, etc.) without them having to stand up and squeeze out of my way
81. When my husband or other people compliment me, I want to believe him instead of mentally second-guessing his motives.
82. To find out what my body looks like under the many layers of fat, and to actually have muscle tone
83. I don’t want to be the girl with the “great personality” anymore
84. So that in the future I can buy a beautiful dress from somewhere other than Omar’s Tent and Awning.
85. To be able to wear a formal gown, get dressed up and enjoy a formal evening with my husband.
86. To have my children not be embarrassed to introduce their fat mom to their friends
87. To be able to wear a belt without it digging into my stomach every time I sit.
88. I want to feel comfortable showing my knees and calves in public
89. to wear jeans again
90. to be an “after”
91. to be able to ride the rides at amusement parks with my kids
92. to go to the pools or beach and feel comfortable in a bathing suit
93. to be healthy enough to chase after and play with my children and grandchildren
94. To not feel as if I am constantly judged for my size.
95. To no longer ridicule and judge myself for my size.
96. To finally love me, every part of me.
97. To jump up and down during Praise and Worship without being afraid of what it looks like or who will see me. To lift both hands in Praise and Worship and not worry about my shirt coming up to show my big butt.
98. To get out there and play sports for fun when in a group of people
99. To prove to myself and anyone who doubts me that I am capable of anything I put my mind to.
100. To feel happy about who I am mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically. (I know this won’t come solely from losing weight, but through the journey itself, I will get there).

Welcome to Jodi's Blog!

I can't believe I have finally joined the modern age society and am writing my own blog. I never thought this day would come. Recently, I started Weight Watchers to begin the process of loosing weight. Today, I was creating a list of 100 reasons why I should lose weight. As I was creating that list, I thought about how I would like to share this with others who may be struggling with their weight as well. I have found from past experience (and many failed attempts) that it is much easier to acheive your goals when you have people surrounding you who understand and support you. I need a cheerleading section! I am creating this blog as a way to reach out to ask others to support me in my (what sometimes seems impossible) weight loss journey and hoping it will be a good support tool for others who need the encouragement as well. Soooo, here I go...I'm off and running! I can do it...I WILL succeed.